Passing Through My Own Threshold: A Laboratory of Life and Gratitude

I realized that I haven't truly sat down and had a genuine conversation with myself in quite some time. Looking back at the past five years, I know so much has transformed in my life, that my trajectory has taken on an undulating, deeply experimental character.

Friends who have known me for years know this well: I have always strived to evolve, to seek what is most authentic and wholesome for my soul. Today, I feel immense pride and peace for everything I have cultivated and gathered into "Gizem’s" saddlebag. Over these five years, I know I pushed boundaries to the point of exhausting myself, surprised those around me, and walked a path far removed from conventional expectations. When I stepped through that threshold five years ago into an entirely different realm, I took that leap knowing full well the weight of what lay ahead.

No matter how intensely this path challenged me, no matter how often it pushed me into the starkest corners of solitude, I am deeply proud of where I stand today and what I have arrived at. For me, this journey continues—perhaps in a new form where spaces, roles, and circumstances change, but it undoubtedly carries on.

I wanted to set these thoughts onto paper; because above all, I owe boundless gratitude to my Brother and my Mother, who never once gave up on me. Without questioning, without a shred of doubt, they stood firmly by my side; they made me feel with every breath that they would be there no matter what. Sometimes, certain things cannot be articulated into speech. You struggle to blossom amidst an inner reality that you cannot explain even to your closest family; and having them stand by you unconditionally during those very seasons was beyond precious.

And not only my family; my heartfelt gratitude extends to those few cherished friends who embraced my ebbs and flows with their own natural rhythm, supporting me without ever misunderstanding (E & E — There is no such thing as coincidence). I do not spell out their names here, for they both know how irreplaceable their presence is in my life.

Just as it was at that pivotal turning point five years ago, a brand-new doorway is opening in my life today. You may once again encounter a Gizem whom you cannot fit into conventional boxes, someone who may at first seem difficult to decipher.

Yet after all, life is a vast laboratory; and I will continue to explore within it, in my white coat, driven by boundless curiosity.

May 23, 2024