Weaving Your Own Nest: Lost Intuitions in the Mirror of Others
Whenever people express an opinion about you—especially during the tender seasons when you step across the threshold of consciousness and self-understanding—whether their words are favorable or harsh hardly matters anymore; after a while, you simply become that designated person. Everyone looks at you from a specific angle, placing you at a certain level. Moreover, even if you cannot fathom where they are looking from, or even if they lack the depth to perceive where you truly stand, this reality never wavers.
In their eyes, your momentary reactions define your entire existence. Even in situations where you hold no agency, before ever assessing your competence, they rush to console you for your perceived failure. They are perpetually eager to serve as ready-made guidebooks drawn from their own past experiences... There is always someone who has lived precisely what you are living; or they clamp unsolicited advice around your wrists like handcuffs, convinced that you alone are the author of your hardships.
No one pauses to ask: What did she feel? How did she experience it? What did she see? What was her true yearning? Was she inclined toward this? What did she glean from it, and most importantly: Why? These questions are never uttered; because they already know people who have walked this path, and they have already witnessed the predetermined verdict.
The bitter irony is that the society I speak of consists of individual human beings, and as individuals, no one desires to resemble another or tread in someone else's footsteps. People transform into entirely different creatures when oscillating between individual identity and collective behavior. Even though they themselves have been subjected to identical judgments in the past and lamented over them, they never hesitate to drag you into the very same machinery of evaluation.
The Bird's Nest and Lost Primal Wisdom
I liken human self-discovery and personal becoming to a bird weaving its nest. Have you ever been able to assist a bird in building its home? The answer is starkly simple: No.
When building the shelter for its future and its life, a bird instinctively chooses great heights. It gathers a multitude of twigs, briars, and dozens of peculiar fragments that to our eyes might seem utterly meaningless. Yet every single twig serves an undeniable purpose, a vital duty: to keep the nest and the hatchlings safe. The bird certainly knows nothing of formal architecture; it accomplishes this solely through evolutionary memory encoded in its DNA and pure, unadulterated intuition.
I wholeheartedly believe that we as human beings are born equipped with this intuitive wisdom, gifted with deep natural instincts at birth. Yet, as our capacity for speech matures and social conditioning takes over, this intuitive grace gradually surrenders to the mimicry of society. How profoundly ironic it is that today's human—having exhausted an entire world with intellect and ego—turns to myriad doctrines, rituals, and quests for "enlightenment" or "the opening of the heart's eye" just to reclaim that lost intuition...
Up to a certain age, we too, without consciously knowing, attempt to build a sanctuary—a protective shield of personality—just like that bird. That is, if we manage to resist the relentless external manipulation. But when those around you persistently reshape you into their own molds the moment you attempt to express your authentic instincts and sentences, you find yourself thrown into a vast emptiness, stepping into life from within a well brimming with unanswered questions.
Nails Driven into the Wall of Life
I believe deeply in the power and enchantment of words; perhaps that is why prayers and incantations alike are forged through syllables. Every word we utter is like a nail driven into the wall of someone’s life. Whether you attempt to change your mind later or offer an apology to retrieve it, the nail may be pulled out, but the scar left behind remains forever.
Undeniably, coexisting in harmony and adhering to social contracts is vital. Yet consider once more the immense human vitality exhausted in a futile effort to satisfy insatiable collective expectations. The "you" that emerges does not need to conform to flawless academic milestones or prescribed societal standards of grace. Yearning constantly for what is externally broadcast leaves you numb to your genuine necessities, wandering adrift in an endless search for external completion.
"When walking in someone else's shoes, you can only move at their speed and surrender to the landscape of their path."
To hear what your own feelings are whispering to you, you must first slip off those borrowed shoes and feel the earth beneath your own bare feet.
Knowledge is very much like sugar: it exists in numerous forms and is utilized everywhere. Some is pure and natural; some is synthetic. Though outwardly they might appear to serve the exact same end, upon closer inspection, each leaves an entirely different consequence upon the body and the soul.
Be mindful of the knowledge you allow into your being; consume neither too little nor succumb to excess. And above all: Always pay close attention to who is offering you that sugar.